Thursday I was taken OUT by a brutal stomach virus. I couldn’t even roll over on the couch without serious repercussions. And my children were amazing! Normally you would think they would pull a shark, smell the blood in the water and take it upon themselves to run absolutely wild. They were so sweet and helpful and kind to one another, there was a small part of me that didn’t want to get well and ruin the whole thing.
I was talking to my mom Friday morning and recounting how sweet they were while I was “dying.” Bottom Middle piped up with “Maybe you should just pretend you’re dying every time we start fighting to make us stop!”
But why do I have to be so sick for you to be nice?
Because we feel bad for you and don’t want to make you feel worse.
But it’s ok to make me feel bad when I’m at full power?
It took me back to a previous conversation with a friend about last week’s VBS experience. We were so thrilled to find ourselves 100% dependent on God to carry us through the week and get His message through. We knew we had prepared and done our part and God was going to see it to completion and we just rested on that promise.
And then VBS was over. And for some reason we felt like we had to pick up the reins again. Why didn’t we feel like we had to be dependent in our every day non-VBS lives? Is parenting with love and patience not as hard as VBS? Is marriage some auto pilot that doesn’t require any effort? Why aren’t we as reliant on God for those areas of life as we are when finances get tight? When health scares or disease come our way? When unexpected death strikes our hearts?
Why does life have to be hard for us to be trusting?
Give us each day our daily bread.
Having survived the last few days on toast, I get bread. It’s not fancy. Not many award-winning photos have been shot of amazing glamorous bread (present company excepted). I can’t remember the last time I planned a meal around a piece of bread. It’s that side item that you only miss when it’s not there. Go ahead. Invite friends over for a spaghetti dinner and leave out the garlic bread. In my house there would be mutiny. Dinner would be put on hold until the bread was procured, toasted and perfect.
Give us each day. One at a time. It’s not like my weekly grocery trips when I try to get everything we will need for the whole week. It’s not like my weekly refrigerator clean outs when I toss the veggies from two weeks ago that we never got around to. There is no waste in God’s provision. He gives exactly what we need in exactly the amount we need for the exact length of time we need it.
That should be comforting. That should make Matthew 6:25-34 so much easier. (I’ll let you read that one on your own – reflect and journal. I’d love to hear your thoughts.)
So why are we so on again, off again with God? Why can we trust Him in hard but feel like we are in control of easy? Did we gain some superpower? Sometimes we even try to take credit for easy! We are out of that financial crunch because I worked hard and managed our money well. That health scare is over because I followed the doctor’s rules to the letter and changed my behavior. But who sent the clients? Who gave the doctor wisdom?
May we (May I!) learn to be reliant every day for every crumb.