Saturday while I was changing sheets, a feather escaped from one of the pillows and caught the current of the air conditioning vent. Little Bit was entranced by this feather. At first I didn’t see it but she was so focused, I had to watch and figure out what had her attention. I started to replay Forrest Gump but she did the slow sit and just watched. Then she started to reach out for the feather but very slowly almost like she wasn’t sure she really wanted to catch it.
By the time I finished the bed, she was still focused on that single feather dancing on our artificial breeze. When a mom has a free babysitter she runs with it! I grabbed a basket of laundry and started to fold as fast as my hands could go. As I shook out one of the t-shirts, I disturbed the feather and pushed it just out of the current. It slowly drifted down and landed on Little Bit’s knee. She just sat there and looked at it blankly and then looked at me with the most disappointed look ever. She picked it up and handed it to me and then looked at the floor vent as if to say, “Fix it Mama!” So I did. And she laughed and clapped her hands and just watched the feather for at least another five minutes which in toddler time is a decade.
Have you ever thought that you wanted to understand God? If you could just understand why He allowed this. What is the purpose of that? If God would just fit in a box that I could measure and see and show to other people. I sure wish God did e-mail or, even better yet, text messages! Faith would be so much easier if God had a picture in the church directory.
But what kind of God is that? My brain made a very weak jump to the concept of a superhero. Now forgive me because I didn’t grow up on superheros, haven’t ever been terribly keen on them, and only know who wears their underpants on the outside. Sorry. My thought went to Superman himself. Again, rudimentary knowledge here but if I remember correctly Superman gains his strength from the yellow sun, has a fortress of Solitude (not relevant but a fact I know), and is weakened by kryptonite. He’s faster than a speeding bullet! He can leap tall buildings in a single bound! (Remembered that one too!) But even for all of his power and might, he still has a limit.
If we could really understand God, fully comprehend all that He is, does and just how much He truly loves us, wouldn’t that really just make Him a glorified superhero? It would mean that God has limits which in turn means that He could fail us.
Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgements and unfathomable His ways! For who has known the mind of the LORD or who became His counselor? Or who has first given to Him that it might be paid back to Him again? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.
(Cross reference Isaiah 40:13 & I Corinthians 2:16; and for funsies look at Job 11:7-11)
Like Little Bit and her feather, I prefer that God remains just out of my reach. I love to watch God at work and marvel at how He works circumstances to His glory. I watch people face adversity and lean into their faith and I am overwhelmed at how they are stronger and those who have borne witness are somehow stronger as well.
I want a God who is too big for me. That means His love is too big for me. It means His forgiveness is too big for me. It means His gifts are perfectly too big. I can trust a God who is bigger than me. Imagine if you were on a tightrope and the net below you was exactly the same size as your body. Go ahead; fall into that net with the confidence that you are going to land in it and it is going to hold you.
I need a God who is bigger than me; bigger than my church; bigger than my love. Only then do I have a God who is big enough to keep the feather that is my life afloat in spite of anything I shake at Him.