Perfectly Unfair.

To quote one of my favorite movies of all time (which I seem to be doing a lot these days) “And just like that she walked out of our lives forever.”

(PS. That’s Doc Holliday to Wyatt Earp in Tombstone – but my IndyAnts already knew that.)

Yes, Momma has left us to sit at the feet of her Savior and sing all of her favorite hymns and worship. And no, we don’t like it any more than anyone else does, but we have that Philippians 4:7 peace that passes all comprehension.

Many people have said, “It’s just not fair!” and “I don’t understand.” Ever her own doctor told us how unjust he found it that jerks, mean people, and low down scum could get a disease and somehow beat it and get a second chance at their life. He just couldn’t understand how someone as sweet, kind and wonderful as Momma would not only be hit by cancer but be hit so hard she never had a fighting chance. “It’s just not fair.”

My sister summed it up perfectly. “Those people NEED the second chance. They haven’t found Jesus yet so God is giving them one more shot at meeting Him and getting things right in their hearts. Momma didn’t need that chance – she has her salvation on lock down.”IMG_9607

I’m ok with things being unfair. Primarily because I can hear her in my head telling me that nothing is ever going to be fair. “You get what you get, and you don’t pitch a fit.” But the rest of that story is for things to be truly fair, they would have to be even across the board. Fair means that everything is the same for everyone. Everyone has the same level of joy, pleasantness and delight. And everyone has the same pains, trials and struggles. That is truly fair.

Would you truly take on the same struggle we are facing right now? Would you take on the pain of a person undergoing cancer treatment? So often when we complain about things being unfair, we are only looking for the extra scoop of ice cream or the windfall of finances or the professional success. That’s not fairness or justice.

I’m ok with things being unfair because I have been the beneficiary of perfect unfairness. And yes, it’s another trip through Philippians; it happens to be my favorite.

Philippians 2: 1-8
Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from  selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but  emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

If anyone on this planet experienced injustice it was our Lord. He had done nothing but preach love and forgiveness. He had called people out on their hypocrisy and false lives and arrogance and they had found loopholes to have him put to death because they didn’t think he was being “fair.”

But we believe His perfect sacrifice is our saving grace. He took our place and our punishment for our sins. It was perfectly unfair. But that saving grace is what allows my family to have hope and peace in our current circumstances. We believe that through Mom’s faith in Christ and his sacrifice and forgiveness we will be reunited with her someday.

Before you bemoan how unfair it is that you didn’t get to say goodbye, or that she was such a presence on earth and why didn’t we get to keep her, consider this. What would you have done with your time if she had been able to stay?

Here’s a follow-up thought. Go do it! If you would have spent more time with her, spend it with the loved ones you still have. If you would have done more for your church, go sign up and get it done. If you would have studied your Bible more, or given more of yourself, go do it. Balance the scales yourself.

We will miss her. But like Wyatt and his Josephine, we will see her again.

(Dear Netflix, You are welcome for the sudden influx of people looking for Tombstone.)

About Sarah

I hate when people ask me "who are you?" because it points out to me that I am about as average as you can get. I am a mom of four children- from middle school down to kindergarten. That said, my world consists of laundry, vacuuming, washing dishes and cooking meals just like every other mom on the planet when I'm not at work. So what makes me different? Why should you read this blog? Because I'm a mom just like you who struggles daily to see, follow and live the life God intends for me. If my struggle, walk, attempts and failures can help you on your path and walk, then I am doing what the Father has asked me to do. Amen? Amen and pass the Lysol!
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6 Responses to Perfectly Unfair.

  1. A beautiful piece – my deepest condolences on the loss of your mother. I lost my own sweet mom to cancer in 2009 and it does seem like it can be unfair. But your perspective on it is one filled with grace, thank you for sharing your thoughts at this tough time.

  2. Jeremy says:

    Times like this make me feel like Wyatt, although in a different context, “Yeah, I”m an oak alright.”

  3. The Davis Family (Heather) says:

    I love how you used this time of sadness and loss of your sweet momma to turn it all back to Jesus. Your words are precious and may they help, even just a little, soothe and heal your aching heart right now. You and your family are in our prayers and on our hearts!

  4. Linda Hosler says:

    I really enjoyed this Sarah. I hope to read more of your writings. So your Momma will continue on with her teachings through. You ask what would I have done differently if she had been able to stay. I think I would have tried to spend more time with her & learning things I never took the time to do. Funny how we tend to take our loved ones for granted thinking they will always be here. So I want to add that none of us should ever take for granted that we will have that time. Because now we know that tomorrow is never guaranteed.

  5. Janel says:

    Beautifully written. Your mother was very proud of you and she had every right to be. I also frequently use the “You get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit” line.

  6. Sandy Kosowski says:

    I also lost my Mom in 2009, and I couldn’t help but think and told her, that Jesus is going to tell her “welcome thou good and faithful servant”. And I feel the same way with Paula! She has most surely
    reached thousands of people thru her Faith in Jesus teaching and other things she did for HIM! And HE knew that of course, and what better way for her retirement to be in Heaven with Him after a life of hard work for Him? And his first words may have been “welcome home Paula, thou good and faithful servant”

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